Fighting Words

I hate to start any post with cutting negativity, but over the past nine months it has become more and more painfully obvious to me that nobody gives a fuck. Allow me to clarify on that: We are at the epicenter of a global pandemic, one that has killed over 250,000 Americans and has caused roughly 14 million Americans to lose their jobs. Over half of those who lost their jobs are still looking for work, me among them. But the job loss is not the only economic impact. Many people have had their wages, hours, or overtime cut as well, and almost half of Americans in a recent survey stated that they have struggled to pay their bills since the pandemic hit. Yes, it has been a rough nine months for many of us...but if we are keeping it real, nobody gives a fuck. The wealthiest people in America, while the rest of the populace suffers, have expanded their wealth exponentially in the past nine months, betting and bargaining and cutting deals at the expense of the working class. Landlords, rath...

I recently had a conversation with my mother about how I speak and conduct myself on social media, and how some of our family members do not approve of my language or tone. One of them said, "Juli has such a potty-mouth, and I know you didn't raise her that way."          - That's right, my mom did not raise me to use profanity...but many years have passed in between the time when my mother was responsible for my behavior and now, and those years were full of experiences no one in my family could ever even BEGIN to understand. Thankfully, I stopped caring about what my family thinks about me a LONG time ago. Also, thankfully, my mother and father raised me to be a strong, independent thinker, and I have yet to disappoint them in that regard. Which brings me to the topic of my post tonight... I have noticed over the past several years that there are many exceptions being made to the high moral standards I was once taught to uphold. I was raised Catholic for most ...

I wrote this in early May, before the death of George Floyd, the protests, and the spotlight shining on our severely broken criminal justice system. I had to get approval from my attorney before posting it, which I have now obtained. This was one of the most difficult things I have ever written, probably the most difficult thing in the last 5 years at least. It is all true and it is all still ongoing. If you needed anymore stories of how messed up our system is, here is mine... I'd like to paint a picture for you, and I'd like to see how you feel about it when I am done: Imagine you are home with your spouse/significant other. You are in the lower level of the house and he is in the upper level. You are avoiding each other, because your partner has been a stranger to you over the past month, and in the past week he has done things you never imagined he would do. Some of those things are illegal, abusive, and coercive; and you are afraid of the person you love. You have not been...

I wrote this many years ago...but it seems as though that voice in my head never goes away, no matter how much I achieve or how many years pass. For every person out there who has suffered abuse of any kind...you are not alone. I love you. And you are good enough. He Said... "Why don't you ever listen? Why not do exactly as I say? You know if you'd just act right I'd stop treating you this way. I'll hurt you like you want me to In all the places that won't bruise And I'm not being sick and sadistic I'm showing you how much I love you. No one else could ever love you I'm the best you'll ever have You're nothing but a lying whore Why the fuck are you so sad? Did I hurt your pathetic feelings? Did I break your cheating heart? Do I make you want to kill yourself And tear your sorry little world apart? I know you think I'll change someday That I'll soften up and give a shit But what foolish, naive hopes you have They are the delusions of ...

I keep seeing a pattern in social media posts that got me thinking about how delicate the balance can be in a person's life, and how quickly it can shift when the normalcy of everyday life is upended. Today it was a friend of a friend, a post that said RIP. Vague answers on what the cause of death was, but it wasn't Covid-19. Maybe suicide. More likely an overdose, like the post I read the other day about someone I met years ago when my life was significantly less "together" than it is now. The one before that was just over a week ago. Samantha. She was larger than life, that girl. She could make you laugh through the hard times, even if every fiber in your body wanted to break down in tears. She had been doing well, by what everybody said. Three weeks ago, it was my own boyfriend. Clean off heroin for two years and just impulsively decided to buy a $20 bag. Cops found him unconscious in a bank parking lot, one foot out the door, car still running. He had pissed himse...