Fighting Words

   I talk a lot about “the system” when I write, and I’m not sure all of my readers fully understand the scope and complexity of what I mean when I use that phrase. When I talk about the system, I’m not only referring to the legal and criminal justice system, but to the many institutions that govern our daily lives — social services, healthcare, government, housing and rental markets, and the job market. I want to open with this clarification because when I say “the system,” I mean all of it. When I started this blog over five years ago, my goal was to give a voice to some of society’s most neglected and misunderstood issues and demographics. One issue I avoided for years was domestic violence, particularly violence against women. I had a valid reason: I was in an abusive relationship and was afraid of how my partner would react if he read my blog. I was in that relationship from September 2016 until May 2021. Even now, nearly a year after leaving, it has taken me this long to...

 In the moments I am Gritting my teeth with the music blasting Tears rushing down my cheeks like The torrential rains of a changing climate So violated by my own desire to just Say fuck it all And let go of the wheel I wish you were here to see How much I never cared... It is beyond All reason and all rationale how All I want in those moments is To feel your arms even though I  Fear your hands And everything about you. But if you think I am fine then you Are a far greater fool than I ever  Imagined was possible I am not fine I did not want this ending And I did not make it this way I suffered in silence to avoid it Trying to will you into being okay But just like I am not fine You were never okay Never would be okay Maybe someday we will both Look back on this and wonder how Two hopelessly shattered creatures thought they could Pick up all the pieces without Both of them always bleeding...