Exsanguinate

 In the moments I am

Gritting my teeth with the music blasting

Tears rushing down my cheeks like

The torrential rains of a changing climate

So violated by my own desire to just

Say fuck it all

And let go of the wheel

I wish you were here to see

How much I never cared...

It is beyond

All reason and all rationale how

All I want in those moments is

To feel your arms even though I 

Fear your hands

And everything about you.

But if you think I am fine then you

Are a far greater fool than I ever 

Imagined was possible

I am not fine

I did not want this ending

And I did not make it this way

I suffered in silence to avoid it

Trying to will you into being okay

But just like I am not fine

You were never okay

Never would be okay


Maybe someday we will both

Look back on this and wonder how

Two hopelessly shattered creatures thought they could

Pick up all the pieces without

Both of them always bleeding...

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